I’ve been asked to avoid this topic, but I find that I cannot. This is from today’s Rush Limbaugh Show:
“…none of it's real, folks --and I'm sorry, I'm the mayor of Realville.”
I, too, am sorry that he’s the mayor of Realville; but I'm glad he's not the mayor of Doodyville.
Today in Realville, the mayor revisited his comments (from almost two years ago) about then- Georgetown law student Sandra Fluke. He did this in order to make the point that he is always being unfairly cast as a villain, whereas in fact he is “one of the guys in the white hats.” * The real villains, explained the Mayor, are people like MSNBC’s Martin Bashir, who say disgraceful things about Sarah Palin AND NO ONE COMPLAINS AT ALL! 1
Anyway, the mayor recalled that Ms. Fluke had appeared before a “fake Congressional committee” and had “demanded” $3000 worth of birth control pills, to be paid for by you, the taxpayer. The mayor noted that, at the time, he and one of his associates calculated that Ms. Fluke would have had to be HAVING SEX 25 TIMES A DAY to need that many birth control pills! 2
All I can say is that birth control pills must work very differently in Realville. No, wait, I can also say this: the mayor of Realville is a Big Fat Idiot. He has had almost two years to correct, if not his manners, then at least his complete misunderstanding of contraception, but he hasn’t bothered, because his Realville audience (“Dittoheads”) gullibly buys anything he tells them.
The mayor went on from there to his real point—that he’s a good guy, that the “controversy” over his remarks about Pope Francis is completely contrived, that he has said nothing wrong or objectionable, and that anyway, “Without me being involved, nobody woulda cared what the pope said. In fact, nobody did 'til I brought it up. Nobody was even talking about it 'til I brought it up.” Pope, schmope: in Realville, until the mayor weighs in on an issue, it’s not an issue.3 I mean, who even heard there was a Pope until the mayor broke the news?
I am not going to make a habit of venturing into Realville; not so much because some of my readers find it off-putting, nor because of its gullible citizenry, but because its mayor is such an obnoxious and self-important buffoon. Sadly, he is an also an influential buffoon, which is why I find it necessary from time to time to point out his buffoonery. But enough for now—I’ll leave the mayor to his acolytes, and just hope I don’t have to enter Realville again any time soon.
*Being pursued, one hopes, by the guys in the white coats.
1 Someone must have complained: Martin Bashir apologized on-air the very next day, and within three weeks he resigned and is now off the air--would that the mayor of Realville would join him.
2 From the Mayor’s own transcript: “Remember there was a woman once who testified before a fake congressional committee who demanded $3,000 worth of birth control pills, paid for by everybody else, and we calculated that you'd have to be having sex, I mean, 25 times a day to run through that much birth control pills?”
3 I use the phrase “weighs in” advisedly.